Crossed in Translation
by Tetra26
Summary: For an upcoming Shin Makoku holiday, Yuuri buys gifts for his friends – including a copy of a famous knitting book for Gwendal. Murata's given the task of translating – unfortunately. Yuuri Friendship fic with very mild Wolfram x Yuuri played for fun


Crossed in Translation

by Tetra26/ Batty Gal

* * *

Summary: For an upcoming Shin Makoku holiday, Yuuri buys gifts for his friends – including a copy of a famous knitting book for Gwendal. Murata's given the task of translating – unfortunately. Friendship fic, mild Wolfram x Yuuri.

* * *

Shibuya Yuuri felt content as he wrapped gifts that he had brought back from Earth for his friends.

Coming up was a Shin Makoku holiday that celebrated a person's friendships with others. The tradition was to ask the person you wanted to buy something for what type of thing they would like most, and get them something as close to it (within reason) as possible.

Wolfram, being – well – _Wolfram_, wanted something that had to do with violence. Yuuri ended up buying him a flame-bladed dagger. It was similar to one he had admired in an antique shop on Earth (which his mother had dragged them into one day). Yuuri had tried to make a bet with Murata that he'd be the first person threatened with it – but Murata laughed at him and claimed to not make "fool's wagers".

For Günter, Yuuri had immediately ignored his request for a kiss, instead opting to get him a pack of hair scrunchies. The man had fell in love with them during his time on Earth, and always remarked how he wished he had brought some back with him.

Conrad had just smiled and said that he desired nothing, which made Yuuri want to pull his hair out. He went behind the older man's back to Yozak, and asked him what he should get Conrad. Five minutes into the conversation he fled, having learned _far more_ than he needed (or wanted) to know about his Godfather's tastes in underwear and night attire.

He still couldn't look at the box properly without blushing, brightly.

Cheri had requested perfume, and Yuuri had braved going in a women's store in order to buy her some. The prices on the bottles of some of them had made his eyes almost pop out of his head, and he ended up purchasing a cheap set in a drug store. After all, it's Earth perfume, what difference would she know?

For Greta he bought a doll that would drink and pee in its fake diapers. Yuuri wondered why people would even make dolls like that, but figured that it would at least quell Greta's vocal desires for a baby brother or sister. He cursed Wolfram _and_ Murata for putting the idea in her head that _he_ would bear her a sibling – as if that's remotely possible for two men.

Or was it?

Shin Makoku was full of backwards laws and screwed up biology. Wolfram's insistences that Yuuri bear his children after they married may indeed be more than an annoying joke, and he decided to buy condoms for good measure.

Not that he would need them, of course!

Just... because.

Moving along...

He had bought several gifts for others, including Anissina, Yozak, and Murata.

However, the person hardest to shop for was Gwendal.

It shouldn't have been that way, though. Gwendal likes cute things, so something cute, the end, right?

Wrong.

When he had asked Gwendal what he had wanted, the older man had shrugged and said nothing. Yuuri sighed upon thinking about it. Gwendal and Conrad were alike in the respect that they didn't desire for him to get them anything. However, since Gwendal was always so helpful, taking on the work that Yuuri knew he _should_ be doing when he didn't _want_ to, he definitely wanted to get him something special to show his appreciation. When he had asked Wolfram what he should get Gwendal, he had simply shrugged as well and said "something to do with knitting".

So Yuuri, being quite ignorant of knitting, had went online doing some research to see what knitting gift he should get Gwendal. Since the older man was – well – _bad at it_, he figured he could get a book or something to help him out.

Several of the sources he had come across cited a book entitled "Stitch 'n Bitch: The Knitter's Handbook", and after he stopped giggling like an idiot over the title, he had ordered one online. Since he still wasn't very good at translating to Mazoku language – and especially not from English – he had given Murata the book to translate for him.

He had neatly wrapped the notebook that held Murata's translations with the actual book, and he hoped that it would possibly help Gwendal with his knitting.

Soon he would give his friends their gifts, and he hoped they would be satisfied with what he got them.

* * *

The dagger wasn't out of the box two minutes before it got pressed to his throat. "Care to tell me why you bought my brother those... _things_?" Wolfram asked, angrily.

Yuuri held up his hands, and laughed nervously. "Blame Yozak, _he's_ the one that gave me the suggestions!" he confessed, jerking his head over to where a laughing Yozak was standing beside a red-faced Conrad.

"Why didn't you get me a set, too? I would have worn..." Wolfram started.

"Oh hey, let's watch Greta open her gift!" Yuuri said, not wanting the mental picture of Wolfram in the _things_ he had bought for Conrad.

The two men watched as Greta unwrapped her present. "Ooh! Thanks Papa Yuuri! This can give me practice until you have my baby brother or sister!"

Yuuri groaned. "Why is everyone insisting _I_ be the one to bear the kid? Why can't _Wolfram_ have the baby?" he whined.

Wolfram sized him up. "Maybe you're right, Yuuri. Perhaps I should bear the children. After all, you are quite wimpy – perhaps too wimpy to have a baby."

"I am _not_ too wimpy to have a baby!"

"Oh please, you'd probably go Maou over the slightest affront due to hormones!"

"Shut up! _I would not_!"

"Shibuya, you do realize that you are arguing with Wolfram over which of you should bear children, right?" Murata questioned.

"So?"

"So that implies that you two are eventually going to..."

"No! That's _so_ not what I mean by this entire argument!"

"He's right, Your Highness. That's not what he means. He's too wimpy to have children _and_ marry me," Wolfram sniffed.

"I am _not_! Besides, this is supposed to be a story about Gwendal's gift, not us!" Yuuri yelled.

"What are you talking about?" Wolfram asked, looking at him curiously.

"Nothing!" Yuuri said, quickly. "Anyhow, Gwendal, open your present."

The others watched as Gwendal slowly unwrapped his gift.

He looked at the regular book, flipping through it – his eyes lighting up when he paused at a picture of a cute hat. He stared at the page, running his finger over the picture.

"The notebook has translations to the book so that you can understand the instructions," Yuuri said.

Gwendal picked up the notebook and opened the first page.

Yuuri watched as his eye started to twitch, his face turned red, and his hands started to shake.

"Um... Gwendal? Is everything alright?"

"I didn't realize you felt that way about me, Your Majesty," Gwendal said, his voice grating.

Yuuri raised his eyebrow. "Well, I thought the book might be of some use to you since you like to knit so much. There's a lot of techniques in there that I'm pretty sure you don't know about."

"Oh yes, there are," he said. "Of course I wouldn't know about them, considering the kind of person I am."

"What kind of person you are? What do you mean?"

"It says right in this notebook what I am," Gwendal said, continuing to glare at Yuuri.

Yuuri looked around, and noticed that Murata was suspiciously no longer in the room. He looked at Gwendal again, and realized that Murata had done something very _wrong_.

And, knowing him, he probably did so _on purpose_.

He walked over to Gwendal, and gently plucked the notebook from his still shaking hands. He looked at the first page, and within seconds he had the same expression as Gwendal.

"Murata!!!" he cried out in anger, over Murata translating the title as "You Can't Stitch, Bitch!".

* * *

Yuuri scowled across at the dinner table while a giggling Murata tried to engage him in conversation. "Aw Shibuya, it was just a joke! I had the correct title and translations a few more pages in!"

"That wasn't funny!" Yuuri cried, crossing his arms. "I wanted to make Gwendal happy with my gift, and you upset him and made him mad at me. That stupid title change and that fake forward suggesting he was too bitchy to knit was too much!"

"You're not mad at him anymore, are you?" Murata asked Gwendal.

"No, but I can't say the same for _you_," Gwendal said with a glare, and Murata had the decency to shrink back a little.

"Geez, you guys are no fun," Murata pouted.

"How am I supposed to be fun when you pulled such a stunt? " Yuuri complained.

The table was mostly silent for awhile after that, as people concentrated on eating the good food that had been cooked for the holiday.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Gwendal said, breaking the silence. He gave a small smile. "I appreciate the book."

Yuuri smiled back at him. "You're welcome, Gwendal!" he said, excitedly. He was glad that everyone was satisfied with the gifts that he had gotten them.

Even if that damned dagger was now pointed somewhere _quite sensitive_ due to the smile he had given Gwendal.

* * *

Author's note: Just something quick. The idea's been floating in my head for quite some time, and since I just started a new knitting project, there you go!


End file.
